20

the clock on the wall reads five past three

Tamara pushes open the door of the Med School wing of Christie General, a facility originally built in a sleepy rural backwater in the 19th Century. Deliberately removed from urban centers of industry and disease, quiet and fresh air was more responsible for the high rate of patient survival than many of the dubious medical practices of the day.

Sixty years later the institutional quiet was breached forever with an influx of casualties that no other facility had the beds to accept. Great War survivors of mustard gas, battlefield surgery and shell shock desperately needed housing and treatment. No longer just a quiet place where the railroad petered into a train yard, the town expanded to accommodate an ever increasing flow of visitors, sprawling down the valley to meet the river.

With an end to the war, several military surgeons followed their former patients to Christie, bringing with them surgical innovations developed in wretched battlefield conditions, triggering the transformation from sanatorium to teaching hospital, and it wasn’t long before Christie University grew up around the bustling hospital.

Tamara undresses in the locker room, slipping into scrubs and stuffing her clothes in the locker. She notes the quiet, but brushes her unease aside as she hurries to the Lab. It’s later than she thought. Damn.

Opening the door she’s surprised to find the lab empty.

Nobody here.

Nothing to cut.

WTF? Maybe she got the day wrong? Must have been rescheduled. Wish somebody had told her, given her a call, something. She could have stayed in the sun with her baby. Maybe she can still catch him.

She goes back into the hall when the men’s locker room door slams open and startles her. She whirls to look but it’s only Nick, backing out with a wheelie bin.

“Gee, Nick, you scared me. What happened to the dissection?”

Nick looks at her. He thinks she’s intelligent enough, but he knows if she doesn’t get it together soon she’s gonna be history. Her big brown eyes look so open, so serious. Probably because her pupils are so widely dilated.

“The dissection went off as scheduled at one, Tamara.”

“At one. I thought … it’s after one?”

Nick nods toward the wall clock, “It’s after three.”

She stares at him, aghast. “Oh no.”

Nick starts wheeling the sharps cart away, but he feels sorry for the girl standing there, conflicted. Maybe she’ll pull it up if he gives her a word. She looks pretty devastated. So he stops.

“Look, I know you’re really smart. But if you don’t focus you’re just not going to make it. There are too many people who want your spot. If you want an easy ride you’re in the wrong program, you want to transfer to something else ’cause there just isn’t any slack for a pre-med.”

Her head is bowed and her shoulders are shaking. But when she speaks her words are steady, though her voice is thick with tears. “Can I make up the dissection with another class?”

“Come by the office after five. I’ll see what I can do.” Nick shrugs. “I think you might make a good doctor, Tamara, but maybe not. What you do on your own time is your business, but I can smell the pot from here. And that sure isn’t the way.”

Tamara says. “It won’t happen again.”

Pushing the bin toward the store room he hears her say softly, “Thanks Nick.”

forward arrow

19

A wall mounted gargoyle holds a stack of books while red ivy begins to climb over him,Adam walks through the Oval carrying Barbie’s laptop. It is indeed crowded with students sitting, eating, walking, talking and enjoying the beautiful weather.

Adam stops, and starts slowly scanning the sea of humanity. She said she’ would be here. As his eyes travel from group to group, always looking for the brightest blondes, he simply can not see Barbie anywhere.

It is a poser. She said she would meet him here. But it is so crowded. Her cellphone must be switched off. He has already used the cafeteria pay phone to leave messages on her voice mail, so she must know he is trying to find her.

He starts to walk along the path, careful not to trip over students or gear spread out along the way. Adam carefully checks every blonde girl, but there is no sign.

He is getting some funny looks when he makes the circuit fruitlessly a second time.

But now at least he is sure she is not here. He knows Barbie is pre-med, but he has no idea of her schedule. They have no overlapping classes. He doubts the registrar will give out her information.

He knows she does not live on campus so there is no point checking the residences. Wait a minute. He has her computer. He came where she told him to come. He’s searched diligently, and she is just not here.

But she will need the laptop for just about everything.

He smiles as he pictures her making pencil notes in a lecture hall where everyone else is using a laptop.

Barbie will want her computer back. She will come looking for him.

Having a woman like Barbie looking for him, searching him out, asking people if they know where he is, would be good.

Act natural, don’t deviate from normal. Stay in character. Go to the library.

Let her find him. Adam smiles. It is just what his brother would do.

forward arrow

18

Looking up at lmulti-colored eaves against the sky

The circle of friends reclines on the grass in their special clearing off the beaten track.  They are soaking up rays  beside the creek running through the woodlot.  Barbie languorously passes the joint to Jose, stretched out beside her.  He takes a satisfying drag and smiles.

“Nice of Mister Sunshine to drop in for a visit, eh?”  He passes it on to Tamara, who takes just a light pull before handing it off to Quentin.  Q takes a couple of tokes and passes it on to Mouse.

Tamara sits up, feeling just a bit spinny, taking in a deep breath in an attempt to clear her head before the dissection lab she has this afternoon.  She smiles down at Quentin, who flashes his own pearly whites in a wolfish grin.

“You’re not leaving,”  he asks.

“Yeah, babe, I can’t afford to miss the lab.”  She leans over and gives him a kiss before she struggles to her feet.  She looks down at Barbie laying there.  The girl is totally wasted. “You coming Barb?”

“I don’t think it’d be such a good idea Tam.  I think they’d notice.” And she starts in giggling.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.  Later.”  Tamara waves to the group and hurries off to the Bio building.  The air feels good, the sun is soft and warm but she’s got a bit of a head.  That’s it for me, she thinks, not for the first time.  Can’t afford to toke up at lunch any more. No way no how.

Tamara has wanted to be a doctor since she was small.  Since her brother got the doctor kit she wanted for Christmas.

But she’ll have a real doctor kit soon.

She’s worked too hard and too long to get here. Slaving night and day to get the math, but she did it.  And now Tamara realizes that she has to get her head into the program or she’s gonna end up booted out.  That is not in the plan.   Stick to the program.  Get it done.

Yes.

forward arrow

17

A workbench qith all manner of computer bits and tools neatly hung on pegboard

Ensconced in his basement domain, Adam works hard; clearly, in his element.

Computers in all states of being, some live and Internet ready, others gaping with all their chips exposed, are set up along the wall to wall work bench.

Motherboards, cables and capacitors are tidily stored in boxes and bins.

But the only computer he has eyes for today is Barbie’s. He spent the weekend getting it done. Such chaos; files scattered all over the laptop.

It was close, getting it all done for today, but that’s what he promised. Now every thing is backed up and the defrag is finally done. Adam can’t wait to give it to her.  To Barbie.

forward arrow

16

sunlight makes the color changing leaves glow

The sun is shining, the trees are flaunting their glorious autumn plumage, but Maggie and Krystal walk in the woods oblivious to the beauty all around them.

Maggie asks, “So what did the doctor say, Krys?”

They keep walking, Krystal doesn’t say anything for a bit.

Just thinking, they scuff their way through the fallen leaves. As they approach the bench beside the wooden bridge that spans the creek, Krystal says, “Let’s sit a while, O.K?”

Maggie nods and they sit. Krystal clears her throat, but doesn’t look at Maggie, stares into the creek instead.

“Nothing’s changed. It’s not growing as fast as they thought. But it is growing.”

“Can’t they zap it with radiation or something?” Maggie asks hopefully.

Krystal sighs sadly. “Maybe there will be a breakthrough down the road. But there’s nothing to be done now.”

Maggie doesn’t say anything. She’s not sure what to say. She’s still not sure that she understands.

“Look I’m sorry I told you, Maggie. I didn’t mean to. It just kind of slipped out.”

“What can I do to help, Krystal?”

“Just keep being my friend, Maggie. It’s great to have some support, you know? But there isn’t really anything else anyone can do at this point.”

“Oh god, Krystal, I’m sorry …”

Maggie’s tears are flowing and Krystal reaches over and pulls her into a hug. Patting her awkwardly on the back, Krystal says, “Don’t cry, Maggie. Please don’t cry.”

forward arrow

15

monday

keys on the birds eye maple cafe table beside a coffee cup

Eric watches Elsie sitting in the window of the coffee shop, sipping her cappuccino. The sun angling through the plate glass lights her auburn mane afire like an erotic halo. He sighs heavily as he emerges from the bathroom, walking over to slip into the seat across from her.

This was ‘their place’. The only place outside bed they ever frequented together with any regularity.

God, she is so gorgeous.

Alabaster skin, sea green eyes. He smiles at her until he remembers, and then he looks away. He tells himself to stop it. Be a grown up here.

She smiles and says, “Hey, Eric.” Like nothing’s changed. He looks at the table. She’s gotten him his usual dark roast with a sprinkle of chocolate, biscotti arranged on the side dish.

He can’t stop the sigh. “Missed you at Callaghan’s Friday.” He looks at the coffee as he picks it up. Not looking at her. Blows on it, sips, sets it down. Stirs.

She looks at him closely. His skin looks gray this morning. Particularly in this glorious sunlight. Amazing sun for October. She can smell the alcohol wafting off him. Watching him not looking at her, she takes in the uncharacteristic stubble, the red rimmed eyes looking here, there, not knowing where to rest.

He licks his lips. Such lovely lips he has too, she thinks. Eric is possibly one of the best lovers she’s ever had. “I got held up.” she says, watching him, seeing his jaw clench. Not a good sign.

He’s still not meeting her eye.

Eric is looking at her reflection. Stirring his coffee, looking out the window.

Anything but to look in those eyes. She’s so achingly beautiful. Maybe it was just a bad dream.

Stirring.

That’s all she’s going to say. Maybe it was all in his imagination. Yeah right. He’s got a great imagination but he’s not a masochist. Wake up and smell the coffee.

She’s acting like it’s an everyday thing.

He stops, freezes, as an awesome and monstrous thought enters his mind. Eric’s fingers go slack as the thought sucks all the air out of his heart. He lets go the spoon, it clatters to the tabletop, flinging a few drops of coffee on his shirt. Like he cares.

Monstrous.

Maybe it is an everyday thing.

She’s bent over the table, digging for something in her bag. The waves of glorious hair fan out around that perfect neck. She purses those lips as she finds what she’s looking for. Withdrawing her hand, clasping it tightly she reaches across the table then opens it. An offering of his keys cupped in the palm of her hand. He just stares at them with dead eyes.

“You forgot these the other day,” she says.

As though nothing has happened. Her voice sounds exactly the same. As if everything is the same.

But it isn’t.

Yesterday he loved her and thought she loved him.

Today he knows better.

He raises his eyes and meets hers. She drops the keys on the table, and withdraws her hand.

She knows. He knows. And she’s still the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. She’s probably the most beautiful girl he will ever see. And she’s got such a brilliant mind. God she is smart. He thinks that was maybe more important than anything.

But.

She looks at him and sees him seeing her. Really seeing her for the first time, not the pedestal woman he had made of her, but the real woman.

She can see the lust in his eyes, mingling with the hurt and pain. The disgust. But the lust is still there.

And it’s making her feel … she feels so … it’s an arousal so strong she can’t believe it. She bites her lip as the flush spreads across her face. She wants to knock all the bloody coffee stuff off the table and fuck him silly right here on this table in the window in front of god and everybody. She’s never wanted anything this badly in her life.

He picks up his keys and hooks them over his little finger, just like always, then he pulls out his wallet and throws some bills on the table. He walks out.

Elsie grabs her bag and follows him out into the sun.

“Eric,” she calls. “Wait.” He stops. Frozen. Still tense.

She runs after him, comes around in front of him. Standing inches away. She stares in his eyes a moment, then reaches up and pulls his face to hers. And the kiss is the most amazing thing she’s ever felt, the most sexually charged kiss she’s ever had, she can’t breathe, she needs him— needs him— right now. She doesn’t want it to end.

But he wrenches free and walks away.

“It didn’t mean anything.” she calls after him. She can’t believe it as she watches him walking away.

From her.

Bastard.

forward arrow

14

One man stands over another laying on a matEyes closed, focusing on the spirit of breathing, Adam begins exhaling through his nose.

Slowly he opens his eyes and gazes at the far away spot.

Extending his arm he stretches and points toward the spot until the exhalation begins to wane. He allows his eyes to close and relaxes his arm, allowing it to fall to his side.

Adam inhales deeply, beginning ki breathing as he focuses internally now.

Until he feels a touch on his shoulder. Without altering his breathing, Adam reaches up and grasps the wrist of the hand that’s touching him. Turning evasively while breaking free of the shoulder grip, he puts his attacker on the mat.

His brother angrily protests, “Hey!”

Adam stops and blinks, releasing the wrist. “What are you doing here?”

His brother shakes his head and says, “We’ve got to stop meeting like this. Could you maybe try to remember that I live here too?”

“But you snuck up on me.” Adam is annoyed to hear the whine in his own voice. The problem is that his brother always makes him feel like a little kid.

There has never been any doubt that Adam was the smart one. But his brother has always had the far more valuable gift of sociability. Sometimes Adam has to quell a touch of jealousy for this older sibling who glides so effortlessly through life, as suave and charming as any Hugh Grant character.

Adam extends a hand and helps his brother up.

“I wish you wouldn’t keep doing that. I just want to work out. That’s why I put in the weight room.”

“Sorry.”

“You wanna spot me?”

Adam nods, “Alright.”

Adam loves his brother. He just doesn’t like to be startled.

forward arrow

13

the creek through the woods with colour changing leaves

Boris, Natasha, Liz and Jake are walking along the creek, enjoying the great outdoors on the Christie campus grounds. Although there are still leaves on the trees, more are on the ground.

Jake says, “I can’t believe how warm it is still.”

“So where is this surprise?” asks Boris.

Natasha lightly punches his shoulder, “Stop buggin’ her, Bo. We’ll see it when we get there.”

Liz knows there is no way any of them will capture any wildlife in their photographs today. Jake isn’t bad but Boris and Natasha are simply too loud. City slickers.

Every critter for miles is holed up somewhere else, hiding until these large noisy intruders go away.

Still, Liz can’t help but grin. She’s actually having fun here.

She can’t wait to show them. Her friends. People she has stuff in common with.

Now that was something worth coming to Christie for.   Imagine, people as interested in photography as she is.   Heck, Jake is way ahead of her.   For such a young guy he knows so much.   And he’s on top of all the digital stuff, too.

Boris and Natasha run ahead, throwing leaves at each other. Liz starts snapping shots of the leaf fight. Hah.

Liz doesn’t notice Jake backing up behind her, taking pictures of her taking pictures. But when she does she whirls around to catch him dead on, camera obscuring much of his face but none of his intensity.

Natasha runs on ahead again, leaving Boris far behind. As she crests the hill she stops, and Liz knows she’s seen it. Snapping on her lens cap, she tells Jake, “Come on!”

Liz turns and runs up the slope after Natasha, her long legs easily outdistancing Jake and passing Boris. Jake jogs over to Boris then drops into a walk beside him.

“Aren’t you curious?” Jake asks, since Boris hasn’t increased his walking speed at all.

“I expect whatever it is will still be there when we arrive.”

Jake nods, and they continue up the sloping path. As they reach the top, they can see the hill follows the creek down the slope to a little valley. Beside the meandering creek at the bottom they can see Natasha under a huge old oak tree. She is pushing on on an enormous tire swing suspended on a thick chain from one of the massive branches. A humongous tire.

The tire twists as it swings and they see Liz spreadeagled inside, arms and legs outstretched to hold on to the inner lip.

Boris grins and snaps off some shots as they start down the hill. “Good surprise. Think it’s a tractor tire?”

“Monster truck maybe.” And Jake realizes that even Boris will probably fit in that thing.

Cool.

forward arrow

12

the weekend

a backlit CD display focuses on a spindle, but  also including packaged jewel cased

The good thing about Saturday morning shifts is there aren’t many customers before noon.

But it’s still hard when you were up too late the night before. Amelia unpacks a box of books, checking the contents against the shipping manifest. Lifting out a handful of physics texts she carries them out front to shelve.

When the bell tinkles she looks over to see that it’s Adam. “I need a spindle of writable CDs this morning” he says.

“They’re over here. Sure you want CDs? You know they’re more expensive than DVDs because of the levy, right?”

“Yes, I do know, but I need them for an old laptop that only takes CDs.”

“Ah. Too bad,” commiserates Amelia. “Anything else?”

He thinks. “Let me look around a bit. There might be.”

“OK,” she says, “I’m just putting out some new books. Just give a holler when you’re ready.”

Adam looks through the rack of greeting cards, wondering what card you would get for the most beautiful girl in the world. These cards are all too foolish. Some have sexual implications that make him a little uncomfortable. Maybe a card isn’t quite right anyway.

He’s skips the iPad display. Even if they weren’t beyond his price range the Apple toy doesn’t fill any real need he knows of. But when Adam sees the Ubuntu mug he knows it is just perfect.

Not the big clunky travel mug, the delicate porcelain mug. It will remind her of him every time she sees it. Drinks from it. Every time her lips touch … wait a minute.

Calm down.

Surely it would be obvious to anyone how smitten he is with Barbie. Glancing around guiltily, Adam is relieved to see that Amelia is still in the back room.

Breathe deeply, from the belly, get a strong ki flow. Adam feels himself coming back under control. Once in balance, he carries the mug back to the register just as Amelia emerges with more text books.

Amelia asks “All set?” and he nods agreement, smiling. She sets the pile of texts on the counter so she can ring his purchases through.

Adam feels a little sorry for this drab, ordinary girl. She seems pleasant enough but she’s so … colorless. Poor thing, not blessed with golden hair like beautiful Barbie.

It’s too bad all girls can’t sparkle like his Barbie.

forward arrow

11

Mouse drops anise blocks into two mugs of milk before putting them in the microwave, bopping to music only she hears through her ear buds while it counts down. When it beeps she takes the steaming mugs out and stirs them vigorously, shuddering in happy pleasure as she inhales the rich licorice scent of home. Tucking her well thumbed copy of Don Quixote under her arm, she pops the spoon in the sink then carefully picks up the mugs and navigates the stairs to the common room.

Mouse sets one mug on the table in front of Amelia curled up on the sofa. Looking up from her own Don Quixote, Amelia smiles her thanks, not asking whose milk it is. Mouse settles at the other end and begins reading. Producing a pencil from behind her ear she makes margin notes now and again.

Mouse is just taking her own first sip of anise milk when she hears a thud from the stair door followed by giggling. Amelia and Mouse exchange glances. “I thought everybody was in already.” whispers Amelia.

“Seems not,” says Mouse, setting her mug back down, she stands and pulls her fuzzy robe tight and starts for the door. Amelia lays her book face down on the sofa to preserve her place and follows, curious.

The door creeps open as they approach and Amelia gasps– there’s a body on the floor. But then more giggling.

As they arrive at the door the “body” is revealed as an extremely inebriated Eric. The giggling comes in equal parts from Natasha and Liz.

“What happened to him?” hisses Amelia.

“Isn’t it obvious? This is one plastered puppy,” says Natasha, which encourages another round of giggling from Liz.

“Boris and I found him at Callaghan’s passed out in the back booth. The waitress made us bring him home.”

“Where is Boris?” asks Mouse.

“Putting away the car. When we got here Liz was on her way in so we drafted her to help,” says Natasha.

Liz giggles. “He was conscious then. I guess the elevator rocked him to sleep. It was all we could do to get him out.”

“He can’t stay out here in the hall, he’ll get in trouble. How about everybody grab corner?”

Natasha and Liz struggle to get Eric’s dead weight elevated enough so they can get a grip under his arms, while Mouse and Amelia each hoist a foot. They stumble through the door and manhandle Eric onto the sofa.

“Funny,” says Liz, “He didn’t look that heavy.”

“Thanks for your help, guys, but that’s it for me.” says Natasha. “G’night all.”

Liz yawns, catching the scent of licorice she notes the two mugs of steaming milk on the coffee table and in a blink decides to let it go. “I’m calling it a night too. Sweet dreams,” and she follows Natasha up.

Amelia and Mouse exchange glances.

“Well.” Amelia says, “We could move to the chairs.”

Just then Eric begins to snore. It’s a substantial sound, and Mouse shakes her head.

“Since the Incredible Hulk seems to have appropriated the room I think I will call it a night too.”

Amelia nods. “Like we have a choice.” She snaps off the reading lamp, and they pick up their mugs and start up the stairs. Amelia glances back at the sleeper. “I’ve got an extra blanket I can bring down for him.”

Mouse smiles at her. “You’ve a good heart Ami. G’night.” They separate at the top, heading to their rooms.

Amelia shares one of the big corner doubles with Liz, so she gives a quiet tap before entering. As she sets the mug on her desk she sees Liz is nearly asleep. Amelia pulls a fleece blanket down from her closet.

“I’m gonna run this down to sleeping beauty,” she whispers.

Liz mumbles something unintelligible and rolls over, so Amelia turns the desk light off and slips out with the blanket. Boris is just coming in as she comes down the stairs.

Boris asks, “He’s out again?”

Amelia grins. “Yup, and that was as far as we could get him.” Taking an end of the blanket, Boris helps her drape it over the sleeper. Eric takes a deep shuddering breath and snores profoundly.

Boris and Amelia both cover their mouths in an effort to keep their laughter from waking the dead, and Boris whispers, “I hope I get treated so nicely when I show up in that condition.”

“You?” whispers Amelia, “You’re far too cool to end up like this, Bo. Goodnight.”

Boris grins and gives her a courtly bow before he heads under the stairs on the way to his room. Amelia heads back up and is about to go into her own room when she realizes Don Quixote is still downstairs. And she’s not finished the chapter. Damn.

So much for a quiet night to catch up on her reading. Back down the stairs. She looks at Eric sleeping so peacefully. Where would the book be? She had been sitting at the door end, meaning the book is probably somewhere under his neck. What are the odds on getting it out without waking him or wrecking the book?

Giving up is not an option if she’s to finish the chapter and start the essay tomorrow. Gently peeling the blanket down she’s rewarded with a glimpse of her book tucked in behind the small of his back. She tries to wriggle it out but no go. Sliding her hand under doesn’t work, so she tries to roll him. A blast of beery breath in her face does not thrill her. Yuk.

Around the back of the sofa to try and get a hold of the book she reaches down and snags the corner, and is jiggling it to pull it out when Eric rolls off the sofa onto the floor.

Now Amelia’s book is free, but she feels guilty for pitching the guy on the floor. Still, there’s no way she is getting him back on the sofa by herself. Too bad Boris is gone.

Boris probably bench presses more than Eric weighs. He could pick Eric up easy. No way she can. She takes a cushion and wrestles it under his head. He snuggles in and looks so sweet.

Too bad he reeks of stale beer. Reaching over she pulls the blanket across him again before heading back up the stairs for the night.

Pulling the door closed she sets the book on her table, drapes her robe over the chair and angles it to block the bedside lamplight. She switches it on. Not a twitch from Liz. Good.

She can finish her reading here. Curling in with Cervantes, she finds herself thinking about Eric. She’s never seen him drunk. He always seemed to have it together Most of the other guys get shitfaced, just not Eric. At least not ’til now. Guess everybody takes a turn. Wonder what did it.

Elsie, probably.

Poor schmuck.

forward arrow