You all know me here for my love of dogs and dog training, but I am a certified all-around animal nut. I did my degree in fisheries and wildlife, focusing on reptiles and amphibians (specifically North American herpetofauna) but also had the opportunity to work with owls, eagles, hawks, vultures, wolves, possums, and a host of other non-domesticated species. My passion for animals and animal behavior and training really started, though, with my love of horses.
I have been riding and working with horses since I was eight or nine years old. I have always been an awkward, anxious rider; I am afraid of heights, I have scoliosis so my back is never straight, I am not pretty on a horse and I get bored going in circles so showing was never for me. Despite all of this, I also had a distinct reputation for loving “problem ponies” - does your horse bite? Does it kick? Does it run off? Does it stop in one spot and never move? Does it literally lay down mid-ride and roll on you? Sweet glittering baby Jesus come to daddy. I accepted that I would never be a “good” rider, but I was excellent at working through issues and improving behavior in “troublesome” horses and that’s what I loved most.
When I was around 15, I had a terrible fall off of my own horse, Grace. She spooked as I was getting on from the mounting block, my foot got caught in the stirrup, and she dragged me across the arena. She ended up stepping on my thigh and breaking my hand, and I was (understandably) traumatized. In retrospect, I absolutely have PTSD from this incident. For months after I would panic at the mounting block; I felt like I was having literal heart attacks, and sometimes would vomit due to anxiety.
My mom shows horses in a relatively high-strung discipline, and the adults around me during that time, including my mom, were vicious to me. They told me I was being a baby, I was stupid, I was a terrible rider, I needed to show her who was boss and if I wasn’t going to ride we should just sell my horse (whom I’ve had since she was a yearling) and be done with it. Shockingly, none of this helped my anxiety, and it quickly sucked the love and joy out of horses for me. I stopped riding altogether by the time I was in college, still keeping my horse Grace but only as a pasture ornament. I blamed myself for being “too cowardly” and not being able to “cowboy” up and just get on and MAKE my horse do what I wanted her to.
A few years ago I had the opportunity to visit the director of the ranch where I learned to ride. I idolized her growing up, and I still think she is one of the most gifted horsewomen I have ever met. I told her I was no longer riding, and hadn’t in years, and she told me that out of all the people she every worked with, she fully expected that I would have had a career working with horses. I was shocked and asked her why she thought that, since I had spent literally my whole horse career having people tell me what a bad rider I was.
“You’re not a good rider. You’re a great horseperson.”
What others (and I) read as timidness, she saw as the patience and flexibility to work within a horse’s comfort zone. Where others saw bad form, she saw mixing techniques from different disciplines to communicate in a way that worked best for each individual. And where everyone saw a coward who gave up riding, she saw someone who still loved horses, despite the trauma, despite the resentment, and despite the fact that many would consider an unridden horse “useless”.
That conversation fundamentally changed how I see myself, and it also explained my history with animals. It explained why I would pursue a career with animals that I can’t even pet and why I’m drawn to the misunderstood critters (possums are my absolute favorite animals, with snakes a close second), and it also explains what brings us all here to this blog today: why I would take a chance on a little deaf puppy with no eyes, and how we could work together to create a happy, functional, incredible little dog - not in spite of her limitations, but in celebration of them.
You cannot bully any animal into a partnership. Not a horse, not a rattlesnake, not your dog, and not people. You can bully them into compliance - which is toxic, fear-based, and usually temporary. A partnership grows from seeking to understand your partner instead of trying to make yourself understood; from finding or creating ways to meet each other where you’re at; and finding joy in the unique journey that you embark on together, even when it’s difficult.
I have been riding Grace again, alone, just the two of us with no one to criticize or antagonize, and our relationship has never been better. Some days we ride through the desert. Some days I spend an hour getting on and off from the mounting block. Some days I get too anxious to get on at all so I lead her up to the patio with Pinkman and Bitsy and we watch Australian 60 Minutes and split a beer. We’re doing things I never dreamed of because she trusts me and I trust her, and I have learned to treat myself the way I treat my animals: with kindness, patience, flexibility, and compassion. I will probably always be a timid, awkward, ungainly rider, but I am an excellent horse person and no one will take that away from me again.
Oh, and if you hear of a crabby, stubborn, willful horse with a bad attitude, let me know - I’m in the market.
Category: serious things
finnlongman: I’ve been very quiet these last few days – as a white British person, it seemed more…
I’ve been very quiet these last few days – as a white British person, it seemed more important to keep quiet, listen and put the work in offline to make sure I’m part of the solution and not part of the problem, than to performatively demonstrate that I care. (If I had an audience, it would be different, but let’s be honest – I don’t.) There are a great many petitions and donation links circulating at the moment – if your Tumblr dash and Twitter feed look anything like mine, you’ve seen them twenty times already today, and these are proof that there’s a lot we can all do from behind our computer screens.
However, most of these links are, understandably, US-focused, so for those of us in the UK it can be difficult to know the best way to help. One thing many of us might not have been aware of is the fact that the UK sells tear gas and rubber bullets to the US. There has rightfully been a lot of discussion about how the UK is far from innocent when it comes to racism and police brutality, but our goverment’s direct role in supporting and exacerbating the violence currently occurring in the US is often overlooked.
Like many people, I was ignorant of the danger posed by rubber bullets – the name is disingenuous for something that can be profoundly disabling if not fatal. A photojournalist lost her left eye a few days ago and is now partially blind (she’s already working again and being extremely badass about the whole thing). Tear gas is evil at the best of times, but during a pandemic that affects the respiratory system, it is unfathomable. To continue to sell these weapons to the US makes our country complicit in the lives lost and injury caused.
There’s been a call for these sales to be suspended (see article linked above), which would send a clear message that the UK does not condone this brutality. It’s only a drop in the ocean when it comes to putting a stop to the harm caused by the UK arms trade more generally, but it’s a drop that would help.
So please, if you’re in the UK, write to your MP in support of suspending these sales. While you’re there, ask them to condemn Trump’s response, and demand that the government release the delayed report about BAME Covid-19 deaths. It’s easy to feel helpless adding your name to dozens of change.org petitions, but there are concrete issues you can approach your elected representatives about, and these are some of them. None of us can fix the world, but we can help.
You can write to your MP very easily using WriteToThem.com. You don’t need to be registered to vote, you just need to live in their constituency. If you have a home and term-time address (e.g. you’re a university student), you have two MPs. You don’t need to know their name, because WriteToThem will find them for you. You don’t need to send a long, thought-out email (although that’s great!), you just need to make it clear to them that this is an issue their constituents care about.
The world is awful right now. Let’s do what we can to make it a tiny bit less awful. <3
woolandcoffee: aspiringwarriorlibrarian: I’ve seen the Ursula K LeGuin quote about capitalism…
I’ve seen the Ursula K LeGuin quote about capitalism going around, but to really appreciate it you have to know the context.
The year is 2014. She has been given a lifetime achievement award from the National Book Awards. Neil Gaiman puts it on her neck in front of a crowd of booksellers who bankrolled the event, and it’s time to make a standard “thank you for this award, insert story here, something about diversity, blah blah blah” speech. She starts off doing just that, thanking her friends and fellow authors. All is well.
Then this old lady from Oregon looks her audience of executives dead in the eye, and says “Developing written material to suit sales strategies in order to maximize corporate profit and advertising revenue is not the same thing as responsible book publishing or authorship.”
She rails against the reduction of her art to a commodity produced only for profit. She denounces publishers who overcharge libraries for their products and censor writers in favor of something “more profitable”. She specifically denounces Amazon and its business practices, knowing full well that her audience is filled with Amazon employees. And to cap it off, she warns them: “We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. Resistance and change often begin in art. Very often in our art, the art of words.”
Ursula K LeGuin got up in front of an audience of some of the most powerful people in publishing, was expected to give a trite and politically safe argument about literature, and instead told them directly “Your empire will fall. And I will help it along.”
We stan an icon.
prokopetz: One of the striking things about math education for me is that most of the common…
One of the striking things about math education for me is that most of the common objections to how the material is taught have really simple answers, but I have never in my life heard a math instructor provide those answers.
For example, something you hear a lot is: “why am I losing points for not showing my work when I got the correct answer?”, or even “why are we being told to use this procedure at all when the answers are so obvious?”.
There answer to both of those questions, of course, is: “Because what’s actually being taught is a problem-solving method that works for big and complicated problems as well as small and simple ones. We practice it with the simple ones first so that you can easily compare your intuitive solution with the results of applying the method and know whether you did it right. That way, when we get to the complicated ones where the intuitive approach doesn’t work, you can have confidence that you practised the method correctly.”
Not once in two decades of schooling did I hear that rationale offered – if an instructor deigned to address the objections at all, their response typically boiled down to some variation of “because this is how it’s done”.
Like, what’s difficult about this?
bruinhilda: As a library worker, there’s something I want to say to you. You do not have to…
As a library worker, there’s something I want to say to you.
You do not have to apologize for the books you choose to read.
At all. To anyone. You owe nobody any explanations; you need no excuse or “good reason” to be reading the book.
You do not have to be ashamed for wanting to read “bad” books. You wanna read Twilight? We got Twilight. Need a banal, cookie-cutter-plot mystery or thriller? Those are always fun. Our regulars check them out by the towering stack. Ask Betty for recommendations; she’s read them all. 50 Shades of Oh Fucking No? We’ve got it, we even got it in large print. Have fun. Check out the rest of our porn too. Oh, and the sex manuals are a MUST if you want to “experiment” yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask; they’re here for a reason.
Want to read a book written by a huge asshole everyone hates and agree was a monster? Yeah, we have those. No, we don’t think you’re an asshole for wanting to know what was actually written in there, or judging things for yourself.
You are not too old for Diary of a Wimpy Kid, The Babysitter’s Club, or Captain Underpants. You are not too young for Sherlock Holmes. There’s nothing wrong with a boy reading The Princess Academy or Sweet Valley High. There’s nothing wrong with a girl being into The Hardy Boys or Artemis Fowl instead.
You do not have to pull the shame face and offer me an excuse when you check out your books. I don’t care if I got so angry at that book I threw it against a wall when I read it: you have the right to read it, and enjoy it if it’s enjoyable for you. THAT’S WHY THE LIBRARY HAS IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. If we only stocked pure, unproblematic literature everyone approved of, by authors of unquestionable virtue, we wouldn’t have any books at all. Or music. Or movies. It would be utterly fucking boring. And it certainly wouldn’t be a library.
lloerwyn: Stop calling people freaks. Stop making fun of bad people for morally neutral things like…
Stop calling people freaks. Stop making fun of bad people for morally neutral things like being socially awkward, not having proper spelling or grammar, struggling with hygiene, or being an adult and living with their parents. If you actually want to criticise bad people, talk about the harm they do and stop throwing disabled people under the bus. Not using the r slur isn’t good enough. Make an effort.