My beautiful older sister will always be a part of me.
She was both the worst enemy and greatest friend of my childhood. She was cool, and sometimes my hero,
6 year old Lynda
Of course I wanted to be just like her. Other times I hid quietly in the attic so I wouldn’t feel her wrath of her fists. We had a see-saw relationship throughout our lives.
Lynda gave me a home when I needed one, and…
My beautiful older sister will always be a part of me.
She was both the worst enemy and greatest friend of my childhood. She was cool, and sometimes my hero,
Of course I wanted to be just like her. Other times I hid quietly in the attic so I wouldn’t feel her wrath of her fists. We had a see-saw relationship throughout our lives.
Lynda gave me a home when I needed one, and helped me find my way to “launch” … then was angry with me when I went. As I was finding my own way I had to push her away when she tried to tell me how to live my life,
But later when we were both truly grown up we finally became the friends we might have always been, but for a better childhood.
Lynda had survived the worst childhood by far of any of the original seven because she couldn’t let what was broken alone. She stood up and fought for herself when no one else would. In the process, she taught me the cruelest lesson of my childhood: the only way to live through it was *not* to fight. Lynda was a fighter, and fighting a losing battle. So I learned to swallow my pride & pain & let it slide.
I will always treasure the relationship we had, good and bad, especially the good we had in later life when we finally became the friends we should always have been. By this time I knew I was a fighter too, but I could fight for anyone else, almost never for myself.
When Lynda got sick, at least I knew she was a fighter. I couldn’t believe it when I realized she had chosen *not* to fight. Instead of following medical advice, she decided to put her faith in carrot juice and religion, tantamount to giving up, I was shocked beyond belief. I couldn’t believe it. Then was angry she was giving up, that she was leaving me. I tried so hard to convince Lynda — of all people — that she had to fight for herself. But all I got back was an infuriating Mona Lisa smile. She wouldn’t even fight with me,
It was too soon to lose her. I wasn’t ready. I was afraid to lose my wonderful infuriating big sister.
I am afraid Lynda was just tired. Tired of having to fight. Almost always by herself. For everything. Always.
I couldn’t really accept it the last time I saw her in the hospital, but at least I could let her know I loved her, and she could let me know she forgave me.
I wish so many things had been different. I couldn’t really accept it until after she was gone. I wish I had been different. And I wish I had been able to be a better sister to her. I wish I could have stood up for her when we were young, and most of all, I wish I had been able to get past my anger and fear to be there for her at the end.
I will always love her. And I miss her still.
We’ve had one winter, yes, but what about second winter?
We’ve had one winter, yes, but what about second winter?
Hello art friends! It’s been 84 years since I used Tumblr so I’m still trying to remember how to navigate everything but I hope to start posting here regularly! I’m a small artist from Wales currently setting up everything to start selling my art! I love everything cute, cosy and ~*whimsical*~ you can see some of my work already on Instagram and my website to get a feel for what I do!
I’d love to follow more artists here so feel free to give this post a like or follow so I can find my fellow artists! <3
My wish goes out to everyone who isn’t even hoping for a particularly happy new year—just a quiet one, a peaceful and even boring one, where nothing terrible happens:
This year, may we all be surprised by joy.
So the Shortest Day came and the year died
And everywhere down the centuries of the snow‐white world
Came people singing, dancing,
To drive the dark away.
They lighted candles in the winter trees;
They hung their homes with evergreen;
They burned beseeching fires all night long
To keep the year alive.
And when the new year’s sunshine blazed awake
They shouted, reveling.
Through all the frosty ages you can hear them
Echoing behind us ‐ listen!
All the long echoes, sing the same delight,
This Shortest Day,
As promise wakens in the sleeping land:
They carol, feast, give thanks,
And dearly love their friends,
And hope for peace.
And so do we, here, now,
This year and every year.
Welcome Yule!
- Susan Cooper.
Twitter is hellsite (derogatory) and tumblr is hellsite (affectionate).
Sometimes the only thing worth looking forward to is a hearty soup and a warm loaf of bread, but it sure is worth it.