27

Residence apartment building in the moonlight, one light onThe LEDs on the alarm clock show 3:00 a.m.

Maggie is laying on her back in bed, staring at the ceiling with red rimmed eyes when she hears her cellphone vibrate on the night table. She grabs it and rolls onto her side to talk into it softly.

“Hey baby. No that’s Okay, I was awake. How was it?”

She listens to his stories for a while. Then it’s her turn.

“I’m just having a bit of a hard time sleeping.”

She listens, then, “No way, I wasn’t worried about you and the strippers.” Maggie listens to him talk a bit, then she says, “Yeah, of course I trust you. I mean you’re my guy and all but more important is you know I’d kill you stone dead if you stepped out on me.”

Stuart talks some more, and Maggie giggles. “But it’s not gonna be forever. Even if I was there no way would I be going to a stag with you.”

Maggie listens some more, then smiles sadly, “Yeah, I was thinking about her. You know me too well.”

She listens again. Then, “No, she doesn’t want anybody to know, but yeah, I told her I’d tell you.  You know she’s right. If people knew they’d treat her different.” Maggie brushes her eyes.

“Hell, I know I do. I try not to … no, not even Katie. Just talk to me …” Tears are running silently down Maggie’s face. “Yeah, I wish you were here too, babe, ’cause I could sure use a hug.”

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24

monkey gargoyle, photographed at University of Toronto

Adam is tucked away in a study carrel in the back of the library, totally caught up in creating his software architecture plan. Crunching numbers, verifying, testing, he’s totally oblivious to the world around him. Which is why he hasn’t noticed it’s getting dark. Or Barbie, when she finally makes an appearance.

Standing in the doorway, Barbie scans the room, trying to spot the computer guy who has her laptop. She’s never been in here before, and it’s bigger than she thought it’d be. If she had actually looked for him in the oval she’d have it now.

She could be home already. But it was so warm and snuggly in the sun, too much fun laying in the grass smoking up with her friends to go hunting up her laptop. Of course if she’d got her laptop from Alan things wouldn’t have got out of hand with Jose. That’s gonna be so awkward.

It’s one thing to lust after him in her head and mess around with that great body in her fantasies, but she knows she’s damn well given Jose ideas now. Hell, she’s given herself ideas. That was too close, she needs to get laid.

And soon.

But goddamn she is not gonna end up like Tam, stuck with some loser. Or her dimwit cousin. God, who is stupid enough to get knocked up these days? Even if you don’t want an abortion, there’s always adoption. You don’t have to marry the guy and wreck your whole life. She will just have to steer clear of Jose. Don’t think about it now. Just find the guy with her computer.

She walks through the main area, there are a few guys who might be him, but she’s not really sure what Alan looks like actually. Ordinary looking. With a tie. But it’d probably be a different tie today, so that might not help very much.

Barbie cruises around the perimeter. Some of the possibles catch her checking them out and look up hopefully, but she ignores them.

He had brown hair. Or was it black? Not blond anyway. Maybe dark, uh dirty blond. Um. No glasses. Kinda like Dilbert, actually. Duh. For sure he isn’t any of the guys working at the common tables in the center of the room. She walks along peeking in the carrels, looking for her computer case. That she’ll recognize.

And finally, Barbie sees it. She comes up behind the guy, taps his shoulder. Skinny, not muscular like Jose. She’s pleased to see she was right, he’s got brown hair. He turns around and smiles when he sees it’s her. Yup. He is wearing a tie too, with some kind of … what is that spaceships? … yeah, spaceships on it.

“Hey, where were you? Couldn’t find you at lunch.” Barbie bestows one of her brightest smiles.

“It was so crowded and I looked but you weren’t anywhere. I think the whole school was out in the sun.”

“I am sorry, Barbie, I did try. We probably missed one another because it was crowded and we were both moving.”

“Probably. Then I had a class. Sorry I missed you.”

Adam smiles happily, “Oh that’s fine. Have you got a moment now? We can go over it.”

Barbie frowns prettily, “I wish I could but I promised my Dad I’d have dinner with him. My folks are divorced and I don’t get to see him very much.”

“That’s alright.” He pulls her computer case out from under the carrel desk and hands it to her. “Let me just tell you, I’ve installed the new Ubuntu distro, and upgraded all your open source software, Open Office, Gimp, and Firefox. I set up a directory structure I think you’ll like but if you have any problems give me a call and I’ll get you fixed up, okay.”

“Oh wow, you did all that? That’s amazing.” she gushes. Adam smiles, feeling terribly pleased with himself.

“Hey, you know,” she says glancing down at the computer bag, “There’s one more thing you could help me with, that is if you’ve got the time?”

“Yes, I have some time tonight. How can I help?”

“It’s these,” she says. Fishing a couple of CDs out of her purse she hands them to Adam.

Adam looks at the cases, Black Eyed Peas ‘The E.N.D.’ and Coldplay ‘Viva La Vida’. “What is the problem? Do they skip in your player?” he asks.

“No they’re fine. My friend loaned them to me but I always have so much trouble making copies, I thought maybe you could put them on my MP3 player. Or even just show me how to do it?”

Adam’s face isn’t happy any more. “You can’t do that.”

Frowning. “I know, that’s why I’m asking for your help, because when I try to do it something always goes wrong. The Peas aren’t supposed to sound like the Chipmunks, you know?”
“No, that’s not what I meant at all, Barbie. I meant that it’s illegal to make copies of CDs.”

She shakes her head, frustrated. “I don’t think so. Everybody does it, and that’s why she gave these to me so that I could copy them. She knows I’m gonna, she said it was okay.”

“That doesn’t matter. She can’t give you permission, she doesn’t have the right to …”

“Of course she does, they’re her CDs. I was with her when she bought them.”

“She may have bought them, but that doesn’t mean you can copy them. That’s against the law. You could get in trouble. She could get in trouble. If I copy them for you I could get in trouble.”
Barbie stands up, frustrated “That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. She owns them, and she gave me permission.”

Adam purses his lips and frowns. “Please let me explain. She owns the compact disks, right?”

Barbie’s eyes narrow and she looks at the guy. She knows he likes her. Why is he giving her a hard time? It doesn’t track. She’ll give him one more chance. So she says tentatively, “Right.”

“But that’s not the same as owning what’s on the CDs.”

Barbie just stares at him, confused, like he’s some kind of little green man getting out of one of the spaceships on his tie. She tosses her hair in frustration. “They aren’t blank CDs. If they were blank CDs they wouldn’t have cost as much.”

“Yes she bought them,” he waves the CD, “But she didn’t buy the right to copy them.”

“Of course she did. She owns them. Who else would have the right to copy them?” she asks, amused.

“Whoever made the CD.”

Barbie crosses her arms, and looks at him, no longer confused or amused. “You’re telling me the only one who can copy The E.N.D.” Barbie snatches the CDs from his hand and waves them in front of his nose, “is the Black Eyed Peas? That’s ridiculous. How am I supposed to ask big stars for permission?”

Adam says, “Of course not, that is not what …”

But Barbie can’t hear him. She won’t listen. “I mean just ’cause I can follow will.i.am on Twitter doesn’t mean he has time to talk to all the Peabodies. I mean, he’s brilliant but he’s busy writing music. They don’t print their phone number on the CD.” she says, petulantly now. “Even if they did, am I gonna call up will.i.am or Fergie and ask if I can copy Tamara’s CD? They’d be on the phone all the time, not making music anymore.”

“It is unlikely that the band would be allowed to give permission anyway. It would be the record label or …”

“Wait a minute. I may be a blonde but I am not dumb enough to think that will.i.am can’t give me permission to copy his own freaking CD. That’s just nuts. Why are you giving me such a hard time? Are you mad I missed you at lunch? I said I was sorry.”

“I am not trying to give you a hard time, but my brother is an Intellectual Property lawyer. Could I just show you?”

She looks at his outstretched hand and hesitates a moment. Just she really doesn’t have any more time right now. Not after having had to chase all over looking for the guy. So she stuffs the CDs back in her purse. “Look, just forget it.” She grabs the laptop case, mutters, “Thanks,” then turns on her heel and stalks away.

Adam sits there, stunned. Watching her walk away.

Barbie is annoyed. No, not annoyed, angry.

She’s really, really, angry.

How could he be so stupid? She liked him. She even kissed him once. Why couldn’t he just enjoy it? Why does he always have to be so anal? Barbie was happy he fixed up her computer.

All he wanted was to help her. He doesn’t want her to get in trouble. Why doesn’t she understand? Now life is truly miserable.

It was better when she didn’t know he existed. He could quietly admire her and hope she might talk to him some time. Now she knows who he is and he’s made her hate him. Adam buries his face in his hands.

He didn’t even have a chance to give her the mug.

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23

theatre lights suspended above the stage

Cameras slung around their necks, Liz follows Jake up the back stairs of the Art Center. At the top Jake pushes open the door leading into a dimly lit corridor.

“So what’s up here anyway?” Liz asks.

Jake smiles, touching a finger to his lips, then crooking it to indicate she should follow. Exasperated, she follows him anyway. Midway down the hall he stops and pushes a door inward, then walks into the dark.

“What is this brilliant idea anyway, Jake?”

He pops his head out, holding a finger to his lips, this time actually “shushing” her before disappearing inside. Liz doesn’t know what to do, but follows him into the dark anyway.

Liz feels a little guarded. It’s dark and there’s a kind of weird ambiance. And what sounds kind of like … maybe water falling? She just feels more confused. But Jake is already making his way through the darkness. So Liz trails after. It’s a long, room, or maybe a hallway? Hulking shapes huddle along the walls. Some kind of containers. Barrels maybe? It’s weird. Jake was so excited, he wouldn’t steer her wrong. Would he?

Of course that’s what everybody always thinks in the slasher movies. Reaching down to her fanny pack she makes sure she has her cellphone. Just in case. And she has the tripod if she needs some kind of a weapon. And she’s a lot bigger than … Wait a minute, this is Jake here. What is she thinking?

Ahead the dim light from the camera’s screen back illuminates the shadow that is Jake. Light stabs through the darkness and the sound volume swells. Liz realizes Jake is very cautiously opening yet another door. Suddenly she can clearly hear the rumble of a crowd, and puts it all together in a rush of relief. Vaguely Liz recalls Amelia saying something about the drama department hosting a play.

It’s easier going now that there’s some illumination. Liz moves up to stand beside Jake. They look out at a lighting catwalk strung between large theatrical lights suspended from a latticework of metal struts mounted on the ceiling. Compared to the storeroom it’s bright, but it’s realy just the spill, with the lion’s share of illumination pouring down onto the stage.

Jake moves silently onto the catwalk to set up. There’s no one else up here, so Liz assumes the lights have all been preset. Probably being run from a control board somewhere, maybe backstage. She watches Jake. He’s clearly aiming straight down at the audience, sure to get some great shots of the tops of heads. Bald spots, dandruff, who knows what he’ll capture, but whatever it is it’ll sure be different. She smiles as she realizes he has come up with an interesting new perspective.

Liz fires up her own camera, adjusts her settings, feeling a little foolish for being worried.

About Jake.

She feels like an idiot.

Instead of stepping out onto the catwalk herself, Liz crouches and takes a series of photographs capturing Jake at work. Retrieving her cellphone from the fanny pack she turns it off. It wouldn’t do to disrupt the show being put on below. Liz feels a bit of a stomach flutter as she steps out on the catwalk, moving away from Jake, toward the stage.

Jake brought her along so she can’t very well poach his idea. She needs her own spin, make her own distinct images. The Stratford Touring Company, that was it. It is warm here. A little hard to breathe. Overheated by powerful lights and body heat from the audience below. No wonder.

One of the big Shakespeare plays probably. Was there dancing in Macbeth? Doesn’t matter, she feels supercharged as she applies herself to her task, photographing the mammoth lights that are so close she could almost touch them as they cast their magical glow on the stage below.

Liz feels a chill, but she’s too busy, so she pushes it aside. She wants to get some good shots. She focuses on the stage, filled with masked revelers in flashing colours twirling to some kind of medieval music. Following the colour and motion from this angle is interesting. A little dizzying. When she’s got enough pictures, Liz shuts down her camera and stows it in her pouch. Why is her heart racing like this? So hot. Turning back the way she came she doesn’t see Jake at all. He must have finished. Maybe he’s gone.

Now the work is done Liz realizes that she’s having a bit of a problem. She tries to take a step in the darkness but … she can’t make her foot rise. Now that she’s looking through her own eyes and not the camera, she realizes the edges of her vision are ragged.

The dizziness is making her feel nauseous, along with a kind of falling sensation, pulling her to the side, drawing her to the audience. Down there. Now that she’s not taking pictures, she realizes the physical discomfort she feels isn’t excitement, it’s fear. She does not want to be this high up. No. Her hand snakes out and grabs the catwalk railing.

This is silly. She walked out here, she should be able to go back again too. Looking down at her feet she can see the people below. Reflected light from the stage reveals them clearly through gaps in the metal mesh floor. Liz can feel the little holes in the floor through her shoes, she’s mesmerized by the sight.

Heart pounding furiously Liz realizes she can’t stay here.

She can’t move either. Where is Jake? She can’t lift her foot. Not the other one either. Lifting it off the floor is too scary. The nearly invisible floor. Not an option. Maybe she can slide it. Her death grip on the railing helps pull her forward a step. Progress. Slide the hand, slide the feet.

The heat is intense, Liz feels sweat running down her back. Got to get out of here. Dizzy.

The pounding in her chest is bad, now there’s a pounding in her head, the rushing of the ocean, the blue of the water … white froth … Liz slumps to her knees, held upright by her mechanical grip on the rail.

As consciousness wanes, her fingers relax and she sprawls on the catwalk.

In the store room Jake is scrolling through the thumbnails of the images he’s photographed. Looking good. He packs up his camera and wonders what’s taking Liz so long. He goes back inside and takes a peek through the doorway. She’s not there. Where did she go? He heads back out through the store room and into the hall. She must have left. That’s annoying.

Not like Liz to just take off without a word though. Maybe she just thought it was stupid and didn’t want to say anything.

He shakes his head in frustration, but he should be used to being ditched by girls by now. He starts down the stairs, feeling an increasing sense of annoyance. Just he didn’t think Liz was like that. She been a good friend until now. One of the very few here who don’t treat him like a little kid.

As he reaches the exit door, it hits him.

When he was here this afternoon helping the crew set up the lights, he was all over the lighting grid. There is no other way out of there. The only way Liz could have left would have been to go right past him. And she didn’t. So Liz must still be up there. But where was she? He turns and starts back up again.

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Inconstant Moon book cover art

lothlaurien posted a photo:

Inconstant Moon book cover art

This is the wrap around cover for Laurel L. Russwurm's debut novel, that will be published as a Print On Demand (POD book) through CreateSpace in the standard 6" x 9" trade paperback format.

(It would be easily convertible to a dust jacket for a hardcover edition.)

The gorgeous title font is Jay Batchelor's "Rebel Caps"
www.dafont.com/rebel-caps.font

The other free font used was Toshi Omagari's Tangerine
www.google.com/webfonts/family?family=Tangerine&subse...

22

Black metal statue hoof contrasted with stormy sky

Natasha, stands with hands planted on her hips, “I think it’s just about perfect.”

Boris chuckles. “You can’t be serious.”

But she is serious, staring up at the black metal statue. The horseman is mightily gripping the reigns of the rearing horse delicately balanced on its two rear legs. The statue’s tail touches the concrete base making the third leg of the tripod but it still looks precarious.

“She wants us to find a new way of looking at the world, a different point of view. This will be different.”

“Well,” Boris says, “Just how in hell do you think you’re going to get up there?”

Natasha tilts her head and looks up at Boris, wearing a mischievous smile.

Boris holds both hands up in front of him, defensively. “Whoa there girl, You think I am going to help you get up on that ancient statue? I don’t think so. I like it here at Christie and I don’t really want to have to transfer out.”

“Aw Boris, don’t be such a poop. I only need a boost.”

“Oh yeah? What happens if you wreck the thing, eh?”

“How am I gonna wreck it? It’s made of metal for gods sake, and it’s bolted to a concrete pedestal.”

“Look, it’s balanced OK now, but the horse is only standing on two feet. You go up there you might unbalance the whole thing. So let me ask you, is it worth the risk?”

Natasha looks into Bo’s eyes. A big smile spreads from ear to ear, and she nods vigorously. “Oh yeah.”

Boris claps himself on the head. “You’re certifiable. Jeeze, Nat. If you get caught they might throw you out.”

“Come on, Bo. I won’t hurt anything … and nobody will catch me. It’ll be fine.”

“You’re missing a really big point though.”

“And that would be?”

“You take your shots from up there it would be evidence. Not a good idea. The pictures you hand in will bust you.”

“Gee, that’s an interesting point, Bo. I never would have thought of that.” Natasha carefully winds the small camera bag around her wrist then scrambles up the side of the plinth, hoisting herself onto the pedestal.

“Wait, Nat, wait, you’re not still gonna do it!”

“Sure I am.” Natasha wraps one arm around the horse’s near hind leg and reaches her other hand to Boris. “Now are you gonna help me or not?”

Boris looks at her outstretched right hand and her expectant face. Damn. “Okay okay.” Boris waves away her hand, planting both of his on the top of the pedestal so he can vault up to join her.

Balancing precariously on top of the damned thing, he draws himself up to his full height and looks around.

From this vantage point Boris does in fact have a better view of the oval, pretty empty now in spite of the fabulous weather. Students are back in class or off campus this late in the day. Nobody is looking over this way. Seems safe enough.

“I just need you to give me a little boost up Bo.”

Natasha extends her arms upward over her head, her fully extended fingers just brush the bottom of the saddle. She won’t make it without him. Unless she jumps, which would be incredibly dangerous. Boris sighs and takes one more stealthy glance around before reaching down and gently picking her up by the waist and raising her above his head. Natasha grasps the horse’s metal mane, gets a good grip then throws her leg over the statue’s withers, squeezing in between horse and general. Boris drapes his arm over the horse’s rump while scanning the Oval, miserably hoping that they won’t be caught and kicked out.

Natasha’s camera is out, she aims here and there, checking the framing on the screen back against her view of the wider world. She looks around until she is satisfied that she is really seeing. Only then does she begin taking photographs. Getting the view from here, the buildings, plantings, scattered students hurrying along the paths.

“Are you almost finished?” Boris hisses urgently.

Making sure she’s got a couple of incriminating shots of Boris, Natasha slips the little camera back in its bag. “All done.”

She slips out of the general’s grip and starts lowering herself down the side of the horse until Bo’s hands encircle her waist. He carefully lowers her half way down so she can make a gentle jump to the grass below, then shakes his head, still surprised he’s been dumb enough to go along with this crazy girl. His head is spinning, his heart racing as he glances around, certain that a contingent of campus cops will be coming for him any minute. But the coast is clear, so he jumps down, landing rather less gracefully. Rolling onto his back on the grass, weak as a kitten, he stares up at the impossibly blue sky, giddy with relief.

Natasha again offers him a hand, and this time he takes it, and she helps him up.

“Okay”, she says brightly, “I’ve got mine, what’s yours?”

Boris laughs, happy no one is slapping handcuffs on his wrists. Oh, it’s good to be a free man. “I have no idea.”

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21

leaves in the sun

Quentin snores gently, Barbie and Jose are asleep too. Mouse gathers her things and jiggles Quentin’s shoulder.

“I have to go to a class Quentin, but somebody should be awake. Too easy to rob sleeping people, yes?”

Bleary eyed, Quentin nods, rubbing his head, “I got it, Mousie.” He struggles to sit up. “Man, that was good shit.”

She grins enthusiastically and waves before jogging back toward the main path.

Quentin flips open his phone, and scrolls through the calendar. He’s missed one class already, but probably slip into the art theory snooze without getting busted. School just makes him tired. But he wants Tamara to be happy.

So.

Much as he’d rather kick back in the sun, he knows he has to go, so Quentin reaches over and gives Jose a shake.

“Hey man, Mouse’s gone, and I’ve gotta go too.” Stretching, himself awake. “You guys probably don’t wanna sleep out here, you know.”

Staring up at the soft clouds, Jose says, “Yeah. I know.”

Quentin grins, “Later, dude,” and is gone.

Jose stretches and yawns hugely before rooting around in his backpack and pulling out a water bottle. He unscrews it and takes a swig, then sets it down beside him, crosses his arms and rests them on his knees and watches the water running along the creek bed. Jose does more stretching, then some yawning and now he’s awake. He wants something sweet. And Goldilocks is laying there waiting for him.

He sure likes the girl. What’s not to like? Does she like him though? She seems to, flirting all the time. Not a bad time to find out. Another sip of water, and he lays back again on the grass. Rolls on his side, watching her sleep. Pretty girl all right. White Anglo Saxon Protestant. Doesn’t act it though, smoking up with Catholic boys like him and Q. Hell, he’s the Latin lover type, right? The corner of his mouth turns up as he thinks about that one.

Watching the girl sleep is pretty intimate. Her breath is on him. Better wake her up. He reaches out a finger and runs it along her jaw. She smiles, mumbles something. He leans closer, to hear. Right. He touches her shoulder.

“Hey Barbie, it’s getting late, we gotta go.”

“Mmmm, just a few more minutes.”

He smiles, this time running a finger along her lips. Her eyes open, she looks right at him, “Mmmm, Jose, hey.”

He sees an invitation in those blue blue eyes, and he leans in, kisses her gently. Oh wow, she’s kissing back.

He can’t believe his luck. She pulls him close, really going to town. He hugs her back, enjoys the way she’s so aggressive, the way her curves feel against him, kinda nice. Really, really nice.

Barbie’s legs circle him, pulling him in.

He’s almost light headed from the kissing when her hands grab his and push them under her sweater … Oh my.

He can’t believe this is actually happening, maybe he’s still asleep and this is the mother of all wet dreams, oh much better than he could have imagined. This is the real deal here in his arms, this is Malibu Barbie rubbing all over him and it is sure happening. He’s rising manfully to the occasion and …

Then all of a sudden it isn’t.

Barbie sits up and tugs her sweater down, suddenly modest. Or maybe just awake. Dammit.

“Oh my god Jose, what are you doing?”

“Me?” Jose shrugs, lowering his eyes “I was just trying to wake you up. You’re the one jumping me, girl.” he smiles his soft smile at her. “Not that I mind or anything.”

She sits up and looks at him. His big brown eyes look away, suddenly embarrassed. Cast downward, those gorgeous thick eyelashes veiling those bedroom eyes. “Oh my god,” she thinks, “he’s blushing.” She doesn’t have trouble buying his story because, Jesus, she’s wet. She smiles; he is yummy. And she has thought about Jose, dreamt about him too.
More than once.

And man she’s ready for him. More than ready. He’s a better kisser than she’d expected but. Sexy as the boy is, he is just not a hustler. Jose is hot, alright. But he’s not going to set the world on fire. A hard worker, sure, but he’s not going anywhere extraordinary. And he won’t be so hot when he gets a pot belly, starts balding. He’ll teach elementary school in some nowhere town, married with a bunch of kids, be a good dad, join the Lions, PTA, have a wife, couple of kids in soccer, the works. Great life for some girl.

Just not this girl. Seeing her cousin get hitched this weekend ’cause the silly twit got herself knocked up was bad enough. That is just not gonna happen to her. Bright lights, big city, glamour and glitz, that’s the ticket.

“It’s okay, Jose. Sorry, I didn’t mean to, um, bother you.”

She glances down at his straining jeans then quickly looks away, her breathing shallow. So easy to scratch the itch, but she knows damn well Jose would expect her to be his woman. Which would mean she’d have to chuck her plans. No, no. no.

He nods. Looking over at her with those big dark eyes. Licks his lips, her turn to blush. He’s not being subtle at all as he looks longingly at her. She better watch it or she’ll be the one making babies. Uh uh. No way. No how. Not this girl.

“I gotta go.” She grabs her stuff and takes off without a backward glance.

Jose lays back and sighs. It was too good to be true.

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20

the clock on the wall reads five past three

Tamara pushes open the door of the Med School wing of Christie General, a facility originally built in a sleepy rural backwater in the 19th Century. Deliberately removed from urban centers of industry and disease, quiet and fresh air was more responsible for the high rate of patient survival than many of the dubious medical practices of the day.

Sixty years later the institutional quiet was breached forever with an influx of casualties that no other facility had the beds to accept. Great War survivors of mustard gas, battlefield surgery and shell shock desperately needed housing and treatment. No longer just a quiet place where the railroad petered into a train yard, the town expanded to accommodate an ever increasing flow of visitors, sprawling down the valley to meet the river.

With an end to the war, several military surgeons followed their former patients to Christie, bringing with them surgical innovations developed in wretched battlefield conditions, triggering the transformation from sanatorium to teaching hospital, and it wasn’t long before Christie University grew up around the bustling hospital.

Tamara undresses in the locker room, slipping into scrubs and stuffing her clothes in the locker. She notes the quiet, but brushes her unease aside as she hurries to the Lab. It’s later than she thought. Damn.

Opening the door she’s surprised to find the lab empty.

Nobody here.

Nothing to cut.

WTF? Maybe she got the day wrong? Must have been rescheduled. Wish somebody had told her, given her a call, something. She could have stayed in the sun with her baby. Maybe she can still catch him.

She goes back into the hall when the men’s locker room door slams open and startles her. She whirls to look but it’s only Nick, backing out with a wheelie bin.

“Gee, Nick, you scared me. What happened to the dissection?”

Nick looks at her. He thinks she’s intelligent enough, but he knows if she doesn’t get it together soon she’s gonna be history. Her big brown eyes look so open, so serious. Probably because her pupils are so widely dilated.

“The dissection went off as scheduled at one, Tamara.”

“At one. I thought … it’s after one?”

Nick nods toward the wall clock, “It’s after three.”

She stares at him, aghast. “Oh no.”

Nick starts wheeling the sharps cart away, but he feels sorry for the girl standing there, conflicted. Maybe she’ll pull it up if he gives her a word. She looks pretty devastated. So he stops.

“Look, I know you’re really smart. But if you don’t focus you’re just not going to make it. There are too many people who want your spot. If you want an easy ride you’re in the wrong program, you want to transfer to something else ’cause there just isn’t any slack for a pre-med.”

Her head is bowed and her shoulders are shaking. But when she speaks her words are steady, though her voice is thick with tears. “Can I make up the dissection with another class?”

“Come by the office after five. I’ll see what I can do.” Nick shrugs. “I think you might make a good doctor, Tamara, but maybe not. What you do on your own time is your business, but I can smell the pot from here. And that sure isn’t the way.”

Tamara says. “It won’t happen again.”

Pushing the bin toward the store room he hears her say softly, “Thanks Nick.”

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19

A wall mounted gargoyle holds a stack of books while red ivy begins to climb over him,Adam walks through the Oval carrying Barbie’s laptop. It is indeed crowded with students sitting, eating, walking, talking and enjoying the beautiful weather.

Adam stops, and starts slowly scanning the sea of humanity. She said she’ would be here. As his eyes travel from group to group, always looking for the brightest blondes, he simply can not see Barbie anywhere.

It is a poser. She said she would meet him here. But it is so crowded. Her cellphone must be switched off. He has already used the cafeteria pay phone to leave messages on her voice mail, so she must know he is trying to find her.

He starts to walk along the path, careful not to trip over students or gear spread out along the way. Adam carefully checks every blonde girl, but there is no sign.

He is getting some funny looks when he makes the circuit fruitlessly a second time.

But now at least he is sure she is not here. He knows Barbie is pre-med, but he has no idea of her schedule. They have no overlapping classes. He doubts the registrar will give out her information.

He knows she does not live on campus so there is no point checking the residences. Wait a minute. He has her computer. He came where she told him to come. He’s searched diligently, and she is just not here.

But she will need the laptop for just about everything.

He smiles as he pictures her making pencil notes in a lecture hall where everyone else is using a laptop.

Barbie will want her computer back. She will come looking for him.

Having a woman like Barbie looking for him, searching him out, asking people if they know where he is, would be good.

Act natural, don’t deviate from normal. Stay in character. Go to the library.

Let her find him. Adam smiles. It is just what his brother would do.

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18

Looking up at lmulti-colored eaves against the sky

The circle of friends reclines on the grass in their special clearing off the beaten track.  They are soaking up rays  beside the creek running through the woodlot.  Barbie languorously passes the joint to Jose, stretched out beside her.  He takes a satisfying drag and smiles.

“Nice of Mister Sunshine to drop in for a visit, eh?”  He passes it on to Tamara, who takes just a light pull before handing it off to Quentin.  Q takes a couple of tokes and passes it on to Mouse.

Tamara sits up, feeling just a bit spinny, taking in a deep breath in an attempt to clear her head before the dissection lab she has this afternoon.  She smiles down at Quentin, who flashes his own pearly whites in a wolfish grin.

“You’re not leaving,”  he asks.

“Yeah, babe, I can’t afford to miss the lab.”  She leans over and gives him a kiss before she struggles to her feet.  She looks down at Barbie laying there.  The girl is totally wasted. “You coming Barb?”

“I don’t think it’d be such a good idea Tam.  I think they’d notice.” And she starts in giggling.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.  Later.”  Tamara waves to the group and hurries off to the Bio building.  The air feels good, the sun is soft and warm but she’s got a bit of a head.  That’s it for me, she thinks, not for the first time.  Can’t afford to toke up at lunch any more. No way no how.

Tamara has wanted to be a doctor since she was small.  Since her brother got the doctor kit she wanted for Christmas.

But she’ll have a real doctor kit soon.

She’s worked too hard and too long to get here. Slaving night and day to get the math, but she did it.  And now Tamara realizes that she has to get her head into the program or she’s gonna end up booted out.  That is not in the plan.   Stick to the program.  Get it done.

Yes.

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17

A workbench qith all manner of computer bits and tools neatly hung on pegboard

Ensconced in his basement domain, Adam works hard; clearly, in his element.

Computers in all states of being, some live and Internet ready, others gaping with all their chips exposed, are set up along the wall to wall work bench.

Motherboards, cables and capacitors are tidily stored in boxes and bins.

But the only computer he has eyes for today is Barbie’s. He spent the weekend getting it done. Such chaos; files scattered all over the laptop.

It was close, getting it all done for today, but that’s what he promised. Now every thing is backed up and the defrag is finally done. Adam can’t wait to give it to her.  To Barbie.

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